Early Marriage, Having Baby, Career & Its Effects.
To become a mother is an amazing feeling. It might be scary moment for many just to imagine becoming a mother. From the very first day to be diagnosed as pregnant till the delivery period and all the difficulties that one might have to face during those 9 months. And not only that, all the sacrifices that a mother might have to do just for the baby might be the reason for any woman to be scared of becoming pregnant.
Yes. It’s not an easy task. But the pride and happiness one can have by successfully raising a baby cannot be compared with anything else. Becoming pregnant, then a mother is not only the thing that makes difference. Between these two relations, there is another relation whom we call a father and husband for that pregnant woman. And all these three relations are like a bond attached to each other.
We humans are ambitious by nature. And this is because of our family and social responsibility. Who wouldn’t like to be successful in life? Or simply let’s say earning name and fame is what makes the society and this world move on. So was I.
MY STORY :-
It all began 21 years before. I used to live in the capital city of Nepal for study purpose. A male dominated society and first time away from my village and family. Life itself was full of challenges for me. Then I used to be on my first year of certificate level and married as well. I happened to be pregnant and was staying all alone. The examination day was approaching and I was struggling with my pregnancy. Some how I managed to complete my first year exam as a mother because my very first baby was born during that period.
After the exam I decided to return back to my home village where I had all my family to support me and the baby. Everyone was very happy to have the very first child in the family. My parents were glad to have their very first grand child. And my brothers and sister were happy as well to have their niece. Things were all moving fine until the day came for me to return back to the city for further study. I was not able to make any decisions on what to do and what not to. My baby was just 9 months old at that time. Some advised me to stay home for the sake of the child. Some told me to go back to the city and continue with the study because it used to be a rare opportunity for a woman to get chance like that in those days. And it was also true that I was the only woman who had that luck to continue with the study after marriage.
Having long discussion and listening to the elder’s advices I decided to return back to the city leaving behind my child under the custody of my parents and the family members. I cannot write in words how difficult was that for me. I used to spend nights soaked in tears. And it was all because I had a dream of achieving success in life by gaining higher education. Struggle in the city to take life and study forward was not that easy in those days. Haven’t there been the supports of my family members, I couldn’t have done that all alone.
Time was flying in its own motion. I finally managed to complete my bachelor’s degree. My daughter was back with me in the city and she was already nine and studying in Boarding School. As I said above, we humans are ambitious by nature. As the day and time were passing, the responsibility towards family and child were also increasing. And I knew very well that staying in my motherland would not let me more opportunity than what I already had. And that forced me to make a decision for going away from my motherland.
So the day came for me to fly abroad leaving behind my daughter. The situation was same as before. But this time the custody takers of my baby were different. I left her in the hostel of the Boarding School. This time I had flown thousands of miles away from my baby. And the reason was same as before.
Since last 12 years I have been living in Europe. Lots of things happened and changed in my life during all these years. And it will not be possible to write all about my struggle days in the foreign country. And also inappropriate with what I am actually trying to focus in this post.In short, I don’t have that much things to complain from my present life in foreign country.
Today my daughter is 21 years old and has her own life and responsibilities. It’s a different story that she has her own ambitions and difficulties. Doesn’t matter how older she is, she is my daughter and I still see her as the same vulnerable child whom I have left back in my country 12 years ago.
Modern life has made us more and more busy with our daily routines. Though the world has become like a small room due to the technological development in the field of communication. I can communicate with my daughter when ever i want. But I still regret for that decision I made 21 years ago and the decision I made 12 years ago.
Nothing is greater than the mother’s lap to the growing toddler. I couldn’t be there when my baby cried for the mother’s warm love. I couldn’t be there to teach her to laugh, talk and take her very first baby walk.
My daughter spent her early childhood without me being near her. And this is the greatest regret I have today.
It’s all about how we manage time for the family and the career. If everything is planned properly, no body will have to be in the suituation like i am today. There is no one on Earth without a problem and difficulties. But the best is that our children should not be the ones to pay price for . Every child deserves mothers care and warm love. And this needs to be done by physically being present near them.
The Psychological and emotional development in the baby can be far better if they are raised under the supervision of a mother.
These are my very own experiences and a true story. I just wanted to share here in my blog with a thought that my post might make difference in some one’s life who is going to be a mother soon or in near future.